The Real Reason Your Team Crumbles Under Pressure

🚨 Stop telling athletes there’s no ‘I’ in team.

I get it.
It sounds right.
It’s sacrificial. Selfless. Aspirational even.

The idea that you can be part of something bigger than yourself is almost too good not to slap on a locker room wall.

But here’s the problem:

👉🏽 It’s also why so many athletes lack the confidence to compete.

When You Strip Away the Individual, You Strip Away Ownership.

Now, instead of athletes who take initiative, you’ve got players who:

• Hesitate in big moments.
• Wait for permission instead of taking action.
• Put their confidence in their coach’s hands instead of their own.
• Play small because they don’t trust they can handle the pressure.

And then we wonder why we have a generation of over-thinkers who idolize perfection, fear mistakes, and struggle to lead when it matters most.

The Real Issue? You’ve Skipped Over Alignment.

If you want athletes who compete under pressure, you have to stop asking them to be less of who they are.

The solution is NOT conformity.
It’s alignment.

What is Alignment?

Alignment happens when:

✅ What you say you want (your aspirations)
✅ Matches what you do every day (your standards)
✅ And is backed by what you actually believe (your inner dialogue)

But here’s the kicker—those beliefs have to be rooted in love, not fear.

Athletes don’t need to be broken down. They need clear, personalized feedback that reminds them of who they ALREADY are—while pushing them to a higher standard.

And this isn’t just some feel-good, participation trophy BS.

The Data Backs It Up

📊 A Salesforce study found that employees who feel heard are 4.6x more likely to perform at their best.
📊 A Workhuman study showed that nearly 40% of people perform better when they feel acknowledged.

🚨 This applies to athletes, too. 🚨

If they feel like they have to shrink to fit in, they’ll second-guess themselves into irrelevance.

Why Teams Crumble Under Pressure

Most athletes—and most people—don’t actually know:

❌ What they want
❌ Why they want it
❌ What it takes to actually get it

And when those things don’t line up?

❌ Confidence disappears
❌ Frustration creeps in
❌ Blame replaces accountability

Now, instead of spending the season competing, you’re playing whack-a-mole with drama and distractions.

So What’s the Fix?

When you coach players into alignment, everything changes.

They calm down.
They lock in.
They make real progress.

And the second-guessing? That fades to the background, along with the anxiety, negativity, and resentment too many athletes feel when they give everything to the team—only to feel like it’s never enough.

I see it all the time—the moment an athlete stops waiting for their team to save them and realizes they control way more than they think they do.

Now, instead of chasing perfection, they choose the harder option: progress.

And suddenly?

🔥 They take action instead of hesitating.
🔥 They trust themselves instead of looking for permission.
🔥 They show up ready—instead of waiting for the “right” moment.

And that’s when the game shifts.

The Most Selfish Thing a Player Can Do? Depend on the Team.

I ask teams this all the time:

👉🏽 If you do your job, does the team win?

Every head nods. Because the concept is simple:

✅ Work hard.
✅ Run the system.
✅ Help the team win.

Believe it or not, this is way easier to do when you’re NOT worried about your teammates.

The number one distraction for elite athletes?

Resentment.

🔹 Instead of focusing on their job, they’re worried about everyone else.
🔹 Instead of elevating their game, they’re dragging teammates who don’t want to be pulled.
🔹 Instead of holding themselves to a high standard, they resent having to carry others who are happy to do the bare minimum.

And that’s how teams crumble.

As Nick Saban put it:

“High achievers hate mediocre people, and mediocre people hate high achievers.”

This is the tension I see in nearly every team I work with.

Athletes are so focused on being a “team player”—helping, adjusting, making up for others—that by the time it’s their moment, they are:

🔥 Exhausted
🔥 Unfocused
🔥 Frustrated that their own game isn’t developing

It’s not superhuman, Kobe-like performances that win games.
It’s basic, do-your-job energy.

And “do your job” starts with players who feel seen.

The Best Teams Don’t Suppress Individuality—They Build Around It.

This takes a certain kind of coach. One who’s secure enough to build systems that empower individuals.

And let’s stop acting like it can’t be done.

Look at Emma Hayes. Steve Kerr. Dawn Staley.

Their teams aren’t great because they force players into a mold.
Their teams are great because they help players step into who they actually are.

Because when athletes feel free to be who they are, they:

✅ Stop second-guessing.
✅ Compete with confidence.
✅ Lead, elevate, and make everyone around them better.

And that’s when the winning—and the culture every coach dreams of—takes care of itself.

Let’s Talk

How do you balance team dynamics with individual growth?

Drop a comment—I’d love to hear your thoughts.

This is exactly what I help teams do—build a culture where athletes take ownership and show up ready to compete.

If that’s what you’re working toward, let’s connect.