How to Show Up BIG for Your Team as an Outsider

January 17, 2024

Being an overachiever in a team dynamic is no joke. You most likely struggle with teammates not having the same high standards, you deal with feelings of isolation, and sometimes resentment.

I love the pic above bc today is about controlling the controllables and being the change you want to see.

Sometimes you need a more encouraging environment. And instead of waiting for someone else to build it, I’m going to show you how you can build it yourself!

Welcome back to the Joy Code, my friend

Today, in 5 minutes or less, you’ll learn

  • How to be a better teammate so that you can create the environment YOU need in order to thrive
  • The power of taking care of self
  • What happens when we let our teammates be MORE of who they already are
  • Why we have the hard conversations
  • And what it means to lead by example

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Let’s talk about being a better teammate

… because on the other side of being a better teammate is greater playing time a better experience and stronger relationships.

So many times we go through this experience as an athlete and we ask ourselves why is it so lonely? Why do I feel isolated? Why is this not more fun?

A lot of that has to do with the things that you can already control.

Today I’m going to talk to you about the four things that you can do to be a better teammate to enhance your experience, because it’s that important.

In reality some team dynamics are not worth saving, but if you haven’t tried these things – give em’ a go

1. learn how to take care of you

The first thing that you can do to become a better teammate is to learn how to take care of yourself. Now that responsibility isn’t shifted to everybody else – it’s on YOU. And we sidestep this because a lot of times when we talk about being part of a team we think ‘oh my teammates will hold me up’ or ‘oh my teammates will come and support me.’

Your teammates do not have time, they do not have the focus, they don’t have the bandwidth to do so.

Everybody’s already worried about their own journey.

You know this; I know this. But we don’t act like this. We act like we’re part of this team dynamic where everybody else is supposed to hold us up. That is not the case. It is your job to hold you up.

Now, when you come back into the team dynamic, you have something to contribute.

And we talk about this in yoga; we talk about Ahimsa (non-harming), and that first starts with you. You cannot be the one in your way to greatness.

So, the ways that you take care of yourself are 1.) thinking about your mental health, 2.) your physical well-being, and 3.)your overall well-being.

What’s something that can help you take care of your mind?

  • There’s meditation, there’s reading, there’s going for walks, there’s the environment you set up for yourself.

We talk about what you can do in terms of your physical body;

  • Yoga is an excellent place to take care of your physical well-being. It’s also a great place to take care of your performance.

2. have the hard conversations

The second thing that you can do to be a better teammate is you can have the hard conversations.

I know a lot of times we don’t want that confrontation; we want to be the person that is liked. We don’t want to create a dynamic where things can get really awkward.

Let’s be real; when you have the hard conversations, you don’t know what those outcomes are going to be.

But when you have the hard conversations, your team does the work that needs to be done.

There are so many instances where teams know what their problems are, they know where the drama is stemming from, and they instead ignore it. And what happens is that it builds and it builds and it festers.

You get resentment, you get frustration, you get anger, and all of these things detract from the ability to play the game. They detract from having a team dynamic that is enjoyable.

Players actually want to be part of the experience.

3. Allow your teammates to show up as they are

The third thing that you can do to be a better teammate is that you can allow your teammates to show up as they are, again, Satya (truthfulness).

We talk about this all the time.

Can you give space for people to be who they are?

Because when you have that kind of environment, then you are providing the space that’s necessary for people to get curious about their highest potential, to explore what is possible when they step all the way in.

4. lead by example

The fourth and final thing that you can do to be a better teammate is that you can lead by example, but understanding that your standard is not their standard.

How each and every one of you is going to show up, how you win, will look different from each and every single person.

Be okay with that, knowing that sometimes when we have a really high standard, it’s not fair to expect everybody else to rise up to that.

So not only do you have Ahimsa (non-harming), you have Satya (truthfulness), and you have Aparigraha (non-attachment).

Don’t get so fixated on what everybody else is supposed to be doing; control what you can control, and that is you.

Playing BIG

When we talk about playing big and we talk about being the player coach, it’s not that you don’t have hard times or that you can’t lean on your teammates. It’s that you’re not dependent on them, and that is a powerful place to be.

All of these things are tools and tips for you to use so that you can make your experience one that you actually enjoy.

Now, on the other side of being a valued member of the team, you become indispensable.

And the first part of this journey of taking care of yourself is understanding what your strengths are, what do you bring to the team dynamic. And right below this blog, I’m going to give you a resource called Finding Your 80/20, and this is how you start to determine ‘what do I bring to the table, what are my strengths,’ so that you can show up stronger and with more intention to your team.

From there, you become one of those members that everybody wants to be around.

From there, the experience becomes one that you actually enjoy.

Your coaches see you as somebody that adds value, that adds a level of culture to the team.

And from there, you become one of the players that they want to put into the lineup.

How You Show Up is Up to You

So much of this journey is in your control, how you show up, what you contribute, and the role that you play is something that you can manage.

I hope these tips were helpful.

Again, when you look back on it and you talk about being a better teammate, on the other side is more playing time, a better experience, deeper relationships.

So learn how to take care of yourself, don’t be afraid to have those hard conversations, give space for your teammates to show up as they are, and then lead by example, understanding that your standard doesn’t have to be their standard.

Hot Takes

Until next time.

Rooting for you BIG,


Until next time.

Rooting for you BIG,


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Hi, I'm Annette

a self-proclaimed excellence junkie, yogi, part-time college professor, and mom of three. And maybe, just maybe, your next mentor...